Reviews for Black Metal, Death Metal and some Ambient! The concept behind this site is to do full discography reviews. I will do my best to track down an entire discography to celebrate a band's evolution. I'm pretty strict on sticking to those genres, so please don't request I review something else. I also buy the vast majority of all the things I review and I don't really take promos from labels or demos from bands. If you're worth hearing, I will probably find you.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Darkthrone - Too Old Too Cold
Genre: Rock/Black Metal
1. Too Old Too Cold
2. High on Cold War
3. Love in a Void
4. Graveyard Slut
What the fuck is this? I thought I was buying a Darkthrone album…? From two veteran fellows in Black Metal, this
has a very childish aspect to it. With
this Ep comes a multitude of questions that I’ve managed to come up with, aside
from the fact that I question why the music basically sucks so much. First question I had when picking this up
was: why is Darkthrone releasing limited edition products all of a sudden? Honestly, when’s the last time any of you
have ever seen Darkthrone release something in strictly limited quantities like
this officially? Can’t think of any
time… yeah me either? Now getting this
in my hands I looked at the company that released it and that brought an even
bigger question to my mind. Why is this
released on Peaceville? Wait… why are
Darkthrone even signed to Peaceville now?
I thought they hated Peaceville... Didn’t Darkthrone, not too long ago,
sign a life-time contract with Moonfog?
Amidst all of these highly bizarre changes, I think we stumble upon some
strange answers as to why the songwriting on this album is uninteresting at
I can only assume that the
tracks on here are representative of what the following full length will sound
like, and I must say I am not looking forward to it in the least. Seriously what is going on here? I know Darkthrone has never been well known
for their lyrical prowess, but please, the line where they say “Down with
people,” that sounds like something a two year old would concoct. The lyrics strike me as the most
idiotic aspect out of this entire release, and that’s impressive considering
how weak the tracks are on here. Look at
this verse that I have tried my best to decipher from the title track:
“Nothing to prove
Just a hellish rock 'n roll
You call your metal black
It's just plastic, lame and
Yeah, we’re well aware
Darkthrone have nothing to prove, but does that make sense to all of sudden to
release a piece of shit album?
Apparently that’s what it sanctions, not to mention returning to labels
that kicked you off their roster… Why
the hell are they back on Peaceville?
Musically this album is much
more akin to Punk than anything Black Metal.
All the drum beats on here are those infuriating up beat bunk beats that
Ska bands favor nowadays. I hate Punk,
by the way, so if you love it, you’ll probably like this album, just thought I
would clarify that at some point.
Anyway, the vocals are more akin to Black Metal, but they have a very
early Black Metal feel, say dating back to Hellhammer or early Celtic Frost
styles at times. The worst thing on here
is the Punk cover song “Love in a Void,” because during some vocal parts NocturnoCulto
sounds more like OderusUrungus of Gwar than anyone else,
making this sound all the more like a total joke. It doesn’t seem like Darkthrone took anything
seriously on this release. They just
threw a bunch of shit together to make a marketable product knowing that they
could sell records based on their “kvlt” status to stupid fourteen year old kids who
think they’re cool because they have a limited edition Darkthrone release. I know that sounds entirely hypocritical for
me buying the album, but I wanted to see what was going on here so I can tell my readers. I think I know what Darkthrone is really up
to and I’ll agree with a shoddy performance like this if I’m right, but I’ll
wait to hear the entire full length and comment on it there. Until then, Darkthrone are not presenting
themselves as they were in the past.
Granted I was no huge fan of their stagnant releases, I never found
their newer material ground breaking by any means. However, just be made aware Darkthrone have
changed gears into something else, and the album title does say it all, “Too
Old Too Cold.” They definitely regressed
into the old, and now it’s definitely too cold because it’s like their
creativity is operating at minus 273 degrees Kelvin. You’ve been warned… until the full length to
hear more of this rant.